How Can I Make Sure I Am Individually Shepherding My Children? | 9Marks

How Can I Make Sure I Am Individually Shepherding My Children? | 9Marks.

This is a repost from Brian Croft. Brian Croft is Senior Pastor of Auburndale Baptist Church in Louisville, Ky. He is husband to his precious wife, Cara, and father to four adoring children, son, Samuel, and daughters, Abby, Isabelle, and Claire. He has served in pastoral ministry for fifteen years and is currently in his seventh year as Pastor of Auburndale Baptist Church. Brian blogs at http://briancroft.wordpress.com.

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Most pastors would affirm our priority is first to shepherd our family, then to shepherd the church.  Yet, I fear many pastors are laboring hard to shepherd the church to the neglect of their family.  The Lord in His kind providence, challenged me several years ago about this as my neglect in this area had become known.  However, it was not another pastor that challenged me.  It was through an out-of-town friend who is a pharmacist and faithfully serves as a deacon in his local church that exposed my neglect.   His effort and model to shepherd his seven children both individually and regularly in addition to their regular family worship challenged me, convicted me, inspired me, and put my pathetic efforts I had made thus far to shame.

This faithful father shepherded his seven children by taking one morning a week to meet individually with each of his children.  Seven days in a week–each of the seven children got one morning each week with their dad.  They prayed, read scripture, talked, and read a book of that child’s choosing.  Inspired by his amazing example, I came home and established a similar model in our home that I remain faithful to this day.  Here is what I do to individually shepherd my four children regularly in addition to our regular time of family worship, as well as implications attached to it:

1)  Monday through Thursday each child gets a day and on his or her appointed day stays up 30 – 45 minutes later than their siblings to meet with me before bedtime.  I thought they would be excited about it for a few times, but then grow bored with it.  Not so.  Years later, they look forward to that time more than anything, which provides a natural accountability when you are tired from the day and are tempted to skip for that evening.

2)  We read the passage I am preaching for that week, discuss it a bit, then we read a chapter from a book they have chosen to read.  At the end, I take time to ask them how they are doing and how I can pray for them.  This is a great way to see how they are really doing and teach them what are good things to be praying for others.  Then, I pray for them and take them to bed.

3)  One of the greatest joys to my wife is her watching my effort with our children and lead our family in this way.  The last thing she feels is left out (just in case you were thinking that).  Our wives’ desire for us to make regular, deliberate, spiritually meaningful efforts to care for our children will mean more to her than I think we realize or understand.  I find this especially true for our wives who are stay at home moms who labor hard in this task of shepherding their little hearts all day with little break.

4)  My efforts with my children have put me in a position to challenge other men in my church to do something similar.  It has been amazing the way our fathers in our church have embraced this and the way it has empowered many of them to see they can spiritually lead their families with deliberate efforts.  Fellow pastors, the obvious needs to be acknowledged that you cannot challenge the men in your church to do anything you are not making a faithful effort at.  Regularly and individually shepherding your children’s hearts is certainly one of those efforts that we must model for the men in our local church.  Their failure to do it could be a reflection of your failure to model it.

Fellow pastors, leaders, and faithful men in the church, may the Lord use this blog post to bring a similar awakening that I needed that the Lord brought through my dear friend  many years ago.  Then, dear brother, act upon it and start today to back up what most of us as pastors and fathers acknowledge with our lips, but fewer actually do.

This article can be found at: http://briancroft.wordpress.com/2010/07/21/how-can-i-make-sure-i-am-individually-shepherding-my-children/

Valley of Vision “Man’s Great End”

We share a common problem with the saints of yesterday. They too struggled with the pleasures of this world gaining control over their lives and taking them away from God’s purposes. How much of your time is directed towards God and helping others? Are you controlled by the distractions of today; playing sports, checking text messages, surfing the internet, facebook, shopping, watching television, or personal vacation plans? This list is endless. Become unfettered and see what happens.

MAN’S GREAT END

LORD OF ALL BEING,

There is one thing that deserves my greatest care,

            that calls forth my ardent desires,

That is, that I may answer the great end for which I am made-

            to glorify thee who hast given me being,

            and to do all the good I can for my fellow men;

Verily life is not worth having

            if it be not improved for this noble purpose.

Yet, Lord, how little is this the thought of mankind!

Most men seem to live for themselves,

            without much or any regard for thy glory,

            or for the good of others;

They earnestly desire and eagerly pursue

            the riches, honours, pleasures of this life,

            as if they supposed that wealth, greatness, merriment,

            could make their immortal souls happy;

But, alas, what false delusive dreams are these!

And how miserable ere long will those be that sleep in them,

            for all our happiness consists in loving thee,

            and being holy as thou art holy.

O may I never fall into the tempers and vanities,

            the sensuality and folly of the present world!

It is a place of inexpressible sorrow, a vast empty nothingness;

Time is a moment, a vapour,

            and all its enjoyments are empty bubbles,

            fleeting blasts of wind,

            from which nothing satisfactory can be derived;

Give me grace always to keep in covenant with thee,

            and to reject as delusion a great name here or hereafter,

            together with all sinful pleasures or profits.

Help me to know continually

            that there can be no true happiness,

            no fulfilling of thy purpose for me,

            apart from a life lived in and for the Son of thy love.

“Man’s Great End”, page 13 from;

The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

(East Peoria, IL, Versa Press, Inc., 2007)

Used by permission

Founders Ministries | Section 1 Catechism for Girls and Boys

Founders Ministries | Section 1 Catechism for Girls and Boys.

At our Embracing the Biblical Family conference Voddie Baucham mentioned this catechism.

Below are some examples of the questions to ask.

A Catechism for Boys and Girls
This catechism may be found in the book
“Teaching Truth, Training Hearts” by Dr. Tom J. Nettles.
ISBN# 1-879737-38-0 Reprinted here by permission.

Part 1 – Questions about God, Man and Sin

  1. Q. Who made you?
    A. God made me (Gn. 1:26, 27; 2:7; Ec. 12: 1; Acts 17:24-29).
  2. Q. What else did God make?
    A. God made all things (Gn. 1, esp. verses 1, 31; Acts 14:15; Rm. 11:36; Col. 1:16).
  3. Q. Why did God make you and all things?
    A. For his own glory (Ps. 19: 1; Jer. 9:23, 24; Rv. 4:11; 4:15).

Part 2 – Questions about The Ten Commandments

  1. Q. How many commandments did God give on Mt. Sinai?
    A. Ten commandments (Ex. 20:1-17; Deut. 5:1-22).
  2. Q. What are the ten commandments sometimes called?
    A. God’s moral law (Lk. 20:25-28; Rm. 2:14,15; 10:5).
  3. Q. What do the first four commandments teach?
    A. Our duty to God (Deut. 6:5, 6; 10:12, 13).

Part 3 – Questions about Salvation

  1. Q. What is a covenant?
    A. A covenant is an agreement between two or more persons (e.g., 1 Sam. 18:3; Mt. 26:14, 15).
  2. Q. What is the covenant of grace?
    A. It is an eternal agreement within the Trinity to save certain persons called the elect, and to provide all the means for their salvation (Gn. 17:1-8; Rm. 11:27; Hb. 10:16, 17; 13:20, 21; Jer. 31:31-34; Ex. 36:25-28).
  3. Q. What did Christ undertake in the covenant of grace?
    A. Christ undertook to keep the whole law for his people, and to suffer the punishment due to their sins (Rm. 8:3, 4; Gal. 4:4, 5; Hb. 6:17-20; 7:22; 9:14, 15; 13:20, 21).
  4. Q. Did our Lord Jesus Christ ever sin?
    A. No. He was holy, blameless and undefiled (Hb. 7:26; Lk. 23:47; Hb. 4:15; 1 Pet. 2:22; 1 Jn. 3:5).

Part 4 – Questions about Prayer

  1. Q. What is prayer?
    A. Prayer is talking with God (Gn. 17:22; 18:33; Neh. 1:4-1 1; 2:4; Mt. 6:6; Rm. 8:26, 27).
  2. Q. In whose name should we pray?
    A. We should pray in the name of the Lord Jesus (John 14:13, 14; 16:23, 24; Hb. 4:14-16).
  3. Q. What has Christ given to teach us how to pray?
    A. The Lord’s Prayer (Mt. 6:5-15; Lk. 11:1-13).

Part 5 – Questions about the Word, the Church and the Ordinances

  1. Q. How does the Holy Spirit bring us to salvation?
    A. He uses the Bible, which is the Word of God (1 Thes. 1:5, 6; 2:13; 2 Tim. 3:15, 16; James 1:18; 1 Pet. 1:22, 23).
  2. Q. How can we know the Word of God?
    A. We are commanded to hear, read and search the Scriptures (1 Pet. 2:2; Rv. 3:22; Mt. 21:42; 22:29; 2 Tim. 3:14-17).
  3. Q. What is a church?
    A. A church is an assembly of baptized believers joined by a covenant of discipline and witness who meet together regularly under the preaching of the Word of God (Mt. 18:20; Acts 2:42).

Part 6 – Questions about the Last Things

  1. Q. Did Christ remain in the tomb after his Crucifixion?
    A. No. He rose from the tomb on the third day after his death (Lk. 24:45-47; 1 Cor. 15:3, 4).
  2. Q. Where is Christ now?
    A. Christ is in heaven, seated at the right hand of God the Father (Rm. 8:34; Col. 3:1; Hb. 1:3; 10:12; 12:2).
  3. Q. Will Christ come again?
    A. Yes. At the last day he will come to judge the world (Mt. 25:31-43; 2 Thes. 1:7-10; 2 Tim. 4:1).

Quote of the week

The only way to learn strong faith is to endure great trials.

George Muller 1805-1895

Doctrine of God: Recommended Reading | Ligonier Ministries

Doctrine of God: Recommended Reading | Ligonier Ministries.

Does God exist, and if so, what is He like? Has God revealed Himself, and can we know Him? The answers to these perennial questions are vitally important for every human being to understand. Since the time of creation, believers have contemplated the nature and attributes of God, not in order that they may merely know more about God, but that they may know God Himself. There are a number of good books on the doctrine of God. The following are among the best.

Theology Proper

Stephen Charnock – The Existence and Attributes of God(1682) 
This classic Puritan work is a goldmine of wisdom and reflection on the attributes of God. It has been said that his chapter on the goodness of God has never been surpassed.

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Herman Bavinck – God and Creation (1906-11) 
Herman Bavinck’s four volume Gereformeerde Dogmatiek is a landmark work in Reformed systematic theology. Bavinck’s work has been enormously influential. The section of his work on the doctrine of God has been available for many years in English translation. It is now also available in volume 2 of the new English translation of theReformed Dogmatics.

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Christopher Kaiser – The Doctrine of God (1982) 
This brief college level text provides a helpful historical introduction to the subject outlining the basic tenets of theology proper and tracing the history of Christian reflection about God, His existence and attributes.

Kaiser_God.jpgR.C. Sproul – Discovering the God Who Is (1987) 
Teaching people about the character of our God is Dr. Sproul’s passion, and in this lay level book, he explains the existence and attributes of God in clear language that anyone can follow and understand.

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Gerald Bray – The Doctrine of God (1993) 
A college level text that wrestles with the great questions of theology proper. Bray examines the biblical teaching as well as the way classic and contemporary theologians have understood the biblical teaching.

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John Frame – The Doctrine of God (2002) 
John Frame’s work is a massive (864 page), contemporary Reformed treatment of the doctrine of God. Frame deals with God’s attributes and acts and concludes with a lengthy discussion of the Trinity. 

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The Doctrine of the Trinity

Peter Toon – Our Triune God: A Biblical Portrayal of the Trinity (1996)
A helpful introduction to the doctrine of the Trinity by a conservative Anglican theologian.

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James White – The Forgotten Trinity (1998)
Another helpful introduction to the doctrine of the Trinity, this time by a conservative Reformed Baptist.

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Thomas F. Torrance – The Christian Doctrine of God(2002)
Those doing advanced level study of the subject will want to examine Torrance’s work. He is cited often in the works of other scholars, including Reformed theologians such as Robert Letham and Douglas Kelly. Torrance was heavily influenced by Barth, so readers should use discernment. This book is very helpful in many areas. Some of his other books are completely off track.

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E. Calvin Beisner – God in Three Persons (2004)
A helpful introduction to the development of the doctrine of the Trinity.

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Bruce Ware – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit: Relationships, Roles, and Relevance (2005)
A good introduction to the doctrine of the Trinity by a Reformed Baptist.

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Robert Letham – The Holy Trinity: In Scripture, History, Theology And Worship (2005)
Letham’s book is probably the best overall treatment of the doctrine of the Trinity currently available.

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History of the Doctrine

R.P.C. Hanson – The Search for the Christian Doctrine of God (1988)
This massive scholarly work traces every detail of the Arian controversy from A.D. 318 – 381. There are extensive discussions of the events and debates leading up to the councils of Nicea and Constantinople. A helpful, if difficult, book.

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C.S. Lewis on Why to Seek an Authors Intention :: Desiring God

John Piper from Desiring God.

In answering the question why we should care about an author’s intention, C. S. Lewis gives two answers in his book An Experiment in Criticism.

“Why,” they ask, “should I turn from a real present experience—what the poem means to me, what happens to me when I read it—to inquire about the poet’s intentions or reconstructions, always uncertain of what it may have meant to his contemporaries?”

There seem to be two answers. One, is that the poem in my head which I make from my mistranslations of Chaucer or misunderstandings of Donne, may not be so good as the work Chaucer or Donne actually made.

Secondly, why not have both? After enjoying what I made of it, why not go back to the text this time looking up the hard words, puzzling out the allusions and discovering that some metrical delights in my first experience where due to my fortunate mispronunciations, and see whether I can enjoy the poet’s poem, not necessarily instead of, but in addition to my own. (100-01, paragraphs added)

I would add two more.

  1. Courtesy 

    Treat authors with respect and seek what they were trying to communicate. I call it the hermeneutical Golden Rule: Do unto authors as you would have them do unto you. Most of us are offended if someone spreads the rumor that we said hurtful x, when in fact we said helpful y.

  2. Authority

    If we are reading the Bible, it’s authority lies in the author’s intention (ultimately God’s) not our perceptions. We honor the authority of scripture by doing the hard work of thinking authors’ thoughts after them.

The Case Against Verse-By-Verse

J Mark Bertrand of Bible Design and Binding writes:

“Back in the day, if you’d been writing, say, the book of Hebrews, and you came to a particular point in the argument where an Old Testament quotation would really do the trick, the result would have looked something like this:

 

So also Christ did not exalt himself to be made a high priest, but was appointed by him who said to him, “You are my Son, today I have begotten you”; as he says also in another place, “You are a priest forever, after the order of Melchizedek.”

Try that now and you’ll get into trouble. While teaching a few years back, I went through a phase where I self-consciously cited Scripture the way Scripture cites itself. The result? People would come up afterward and says things like, “That was really good, but I would have appreciated more Scripture.” But I used lots of it, I’d protest, pointing out the many instances. “Well … you should cite your references, then.” More

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Conventional Thinking : Younger Pastors and the Hope of a Future

Al Mohler writes:

Tonight I spent a really encouraging few hours with a group of younger pastors — men who are being greatly used of God to reach their own generation and far beyond. That experience made me really thankful, and also led me to think about why Southern Baptists should be especially thankful for the rising generation of young pastors. more

Valley of Vision “Purification”

In Psalm 24:3-4a David asks, “Who shall ascend the hill of the Lord? And who may stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart,”

Cleansing starts when we recognize that we are weak. Weakness then reaches out for the strength of God. We can not stay in God’s will apart from the study of his word, which is essential to walking in the Spirit. (Galatians 5:16) Then as we persevere in prayer, we can cry out with David in Psalm 51:10a “Create in me a clean heart, O God,”

PURIFICATION

LORD JESUS,

I sin-

Grant that I may never cease grieving because of it,

                        never be content with myself,

                        never think I can reach a point of perfection.

Kill my envy, command my tongue, trample down self.

Give me grace to be holy, kind, gentle, pure, peaceable,

                        to live for thee and not for self,

                        to copy thy words, acts, spirit,

                        to be transformed into thy likeness,

                        to be consecrated wholly to thee,

                        to live entirely to thy glory.

Deliver me from attachment to things unclean,

                        from wrong associations,

                        from the predominance of evil passions,

                        from the sugar of sin as well as its gall,

            that with self-loathing, deep contrition,

                        earnest heart searching

                        I may come to thee, cast myself on thee,

                        trust in thee, cry to thee,

                        be delivered by thee.

O God, the Eternal All, help me to know

            that all things are shadows, but thou are substance,

                        all things are quicksands, but thou art mountain,

                        all things are shifting, but thou art anchor,

                        all things are ignorance, but thou art wisdom.

If my life is to be a crucible amid burning heat, so be it,

            but do thou sit at the furnace mouth

            to watch the ore that nothing be lost.

If I sin willfully, grievously, tormentedly, in grace

            take away my mourning and give me music;

            remove my sackcloth and clothe me with beauty;

            still my sighs and fill my mouth with song,

            then give me summer weather as a Christian.

 

“Purification”, Page 81 from;

The Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

(East Peoria, IL, Versa press, Inc., 2007)

Used by permission

What Hitchens has Learned from Wilson

From the Church Matters: The 9Marks Blog.

by Michael Mckinley

There’s an interesting short piece from celebrity atheist Christopher Hitchens over at Slate describing the lessons he’s learned from debating people of faith (particularly Douglas Wilson).  You can read it here.


Two interesting quotes:

I haven’t yet run into an argument that has made me want to change my mind. After all, a believing religious person, however brilliant or however good in debate, is compelled to stick fairly closely to a “script” that is known in advance, and known to me, too. However, I have discovered that the so-called Christian right is much less monolithic, and very much more polite and hospitable, than I would once have thought, or than most liberals believe.


and

Wilson isn’t one of those evasive Christians who mumble apologetically about how some of the Bible stories are really just “metaphors.” He is willing to maintain very staunchly that Jesus of Nazareth was the Christ and that his sacrifice redeems our state of sin, which in turn is the outcome of our rebellion against God. He doesn’t waffle when asked why God allows so much evil and suffering—of course he “allows” it since it is the inescapable state of rebellious sinners. I much prefer this sincerity to the vague and Python-esque witterings of the interfaith and ecumenical groups who barely respect their own traditions and who look upon faith as just another word for community organizing